Roommate Wars: A New Monday

Not so long ago (actually just this morning) in a dorm far, far away (depending on your current location)....

BUM BUM BUM BUMMMMM BUMM! BAH DA DAHHHH DA! BAH DA DAH DAHHH!
...that was me yelling the Star Wars theme song. Just in case there was ANY confusion there.

    Okay so this morning was not a good morning. I actually never say the phrase "good morning", because that is an oxymoron. There is no such thing as a good morning, because all the joy of the world is not present until after 10am. But this morning wasn't even remotely good for several reasons:
    1. I was foolish and forgot about my laundry last night, so I was up until 2:30 am waiting for it to get done. This was something totally silly and preventable, which is why it peeves me so much. (Haha I just rememberd that Peeves is the polterguist from Harry Potter)
    2. My spring semester started this morning, so last night I was a little too excited and didn't get to sleep right away. Not like a Christmas Eve excited, more like a tomorrow-I'm-going-to-see-an-awesome-movie-that-I've-been-waiting-forever-to-see excited.
    3. Most of my bedsheets slid off in the middle of the night. Not something that I can necessarily control, but I'm already freezing for a good portion of the day. Definately don't need my nights to feel like I'm trying to sleep inside of a taun-taun in the middle of a Hoth snowstorm.
    4. But finally, and most importantly, one of my roommates had an early class this morning. Understandably, he was required to wake up a little early in order to shower and get prepared for the day. I get that, and I don't blame him for planning ahead. Kudos.

 BUT. As those who have been blessed to meet me already know, I am NOT a morning person. Seriously, my body refuses to cooperate each day until around 10-10:30am. My usually light demeanor is replaced with the attitude of that one dinosaur in Jurassic Park, you know the one that ate the fat guy? Sure, I might look pretty harmless, but I swear if you touch me I'm going to spit venom in your face. And then eat you.

Chyeah. It's THAT bad. Also, I get nasty headaches and even physically sick if I eat anything. I might or not be pregnant.

  Knowing all this, we can continue. Anyway, my roommate gets up early to get ready for the day. To start, he jumps out of his bed. He's on the top bunk, and doesn't necessarily know how to land softly. So with one swift BAM, my torture session begins. He then promptly goes to his dresser (situated directed next to my bed) to retrieve assorted colored dyes that will serve as stylish coverings. Clothes, idiot. I'm talking about clothes.
  Here's the deal with our dressers. The drawers move on small wheels along a set metal track, but they do so very quickly. When the drawer reaches it's maximum length, it hits the barrier with a resounding BOOOOM. Multiple drawers, multiples times, multiple booms.

 It reminded so much of the Inception soundtrack, that I've decided to call them Inception drawers. But my nightmare had only just begun.  

 He exited the room, using our door that is desparately in need of WD-40. Seriously, this thing sounds pretty close to a rabbit being mauled by a cat. At least to a half-awake-not-a-morning-person. So at this point I'm very much awake, staring at the ceiling with bloodshot, rage-filled eyes. As he's off in the bathroom showering, I'm left alone to contemplate what I did to deserve this manner of torture. I mean, I have one hour left before I have to get up. Sleep is so precious to me, that I'm pretty desparate to have that one hour. Trying to find a new comfortable position, I attempt to go back to sleep and just ignore this whole thing. But just as I drift back into frusterated sleep, the bathroom door opens.

  Now our bathroom is just outside the bedroom, with the two doors directly facing each other. And my bed is situated so that ALL the light from the bathroom floods onto my face like a horde of sting-crazy bees. Alright maybe not that bad, but this is my story. I'm allowed to exaggerate.

  So anyway, now that sleepy time is over again, I focus on not being rude and yelling at my poor roommate, who most likely has no idea what effects these insignificant actions are having. I think it's alright to give him the benefit of the doubt once in a while. I'm a fair guy. I digress.
  He enters the room again, leaving the bathroom door open and light on to shine joyfully in my face. I roll over to face the ceiling. But ohhh NO, he decides to turn his desk light on. I guess to find a paper or something. Doesn't really matter, but now the ceiling is bathed in golden light that probably reflects the color of my now-Sith angered eyes.

  Thankfully, he turns the light off pretty quickly and leaves to go to class. So I once again roll over to enjoy some good sleep before my "morning" begins.

  And then my alarm went off.